How to stop feeling jealous

How To Stop Feeling Jealous

5 Steps to Stop Feeling Jealous


Jealousy is a normal human emotional response when you feel inferior or insecure by someone getting attention from someone you love. 

Jealousy can make you do some crazy things and it doesn’t feel good or look good to anyone watching your behavior.

There are 4 types of jealousy and none of them sound attractive right? So, let’s look at what you can do to ease the feelings of jealousy.

Step 1: Get Clarity


What specifically are your jealous about?  

How exactly does it make you feel?  

Is the problem something lacking within you or do you fear losing something important to you? eg. a job, a friend, a Partner.

For example, if you’re jealous when your partner spends time with someone else or you’re suspicious they’re cheating, dig deeper and find out what’s going on with you.

Why don’t you trust them? Is it more about your insecurities or is it about their behavior? 

The answers will help you determine your next step, whether it’s kicking them to the curb or curbing your insecurities. When you take action you will be in charge of your emotions and you can stop feeling jealous and gain back your confidence.


Step 2: Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

Comparing yourself to someone else’s looks, body, career, qualifications, car, money etc. can be really problematic.

 Someone else may have a cool new car while you’re taking public transport, but you can’t tell what’s going on inside another person’s head or life.

Everyone is dealing with their own issues, so maybe you can celebrate your own good fortune and stay motivated to achieve your goals.

If you see someone else has something you want then you can model it. Learn how they got it or achieved it. Break down the steps into a plan and then take action.

Whatever you focus on in your life is where you are going to get results.  If you want to be thinner then you need to change your habits to be more active.  

If you want a higher paying job you need to educate yourself and put yourself in a good position for a promotion.

If you want a more loving relationship cultivate the habits that prioritise your partner. It really is possible to have it all. 

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Step 3: Focus On What You Have

You can choose to focus on what others have or what you perceive them to have, or you can choose to focus on what you have. 

Jealousy is often created from the feeling of wanting things we don’t already have in our lives or losing what we do have.

People want more attention, more stuff, more security, love, and confidence. If you choose to measure your self-worth by what you see others have, you’re really putting yourself in a situation of swimming upstream. 

Swimming upstream is a lot of hard work and generally, you stay in the same place.

Instead of coming from a mindset of “I don’t have,” think about your positive qualities, your own achievements and your winning attitude will shine through. 

It will help you make others appreciate you as much as you appreciate yourself.

Choose to focus and run your own race instead of looking at everyone else, Be kind to yourself!

Step 4: Talk it Through

Feeling jealousy in a relationship

When there’s a problem between you and your Partner or someone you care about, don’t let it go unresolved. 

It’s best to share your feelings with your partner or peers in a way that’s controlled and with your emotions intact.

In other words, talk about it as soon as you feel jealousy arise and as soon as you are in an environment that’s safe to share your concerns.

There’s no point letting your emotions build up until they are so strong they take over in a way you’ll later regret. It’s best to keep to the facts.

Hold back from saying any negative comments, being sarcastic or firing off personal attacks. 

Remember the goal of the conversation is to ease the feeling of jealousy and get the reassurance you’re craving. That’s how you can ease the feeling of jealousy without feeling too vulnerable because you’re doing something about before it grows out of control.


Step 5: Be Independent

Ask yourself if you’re sharing your partner’s life or are you trying to controlling it? 

One of the reasons people experience jealousy in any kind of relationship is because they feel the other person has more in their life apart from the relationship.

While your partner is off seeing friends, family, playing sport or whatever else they do it’s time for you to fill your life too with other things. 

It’s okay for people to be in a relationship and still be independent of one another. Just because you’re together, it doesn’t mean all other friendships need to be sacrificed. 

Make sure you still have a life outside of the relationship and you have other people you can call and spend time with.

Just as friendships shouldn’t be sacrificed when you’re in an intimate relationship, it’s equally important to balance relationships with your friends to ensure you’re not neglecting your partner. 

Creating this balance will alleviate symptoms of jealousy.

Feeling jealous is a normal reaction when you feel there is a threat of losing someone you love, to someone else. 

However, being jealous too often can also cause relationship problems and be seen to be a deal breaker for some people.

Conclusion on Jealousy

Feeling jealous in your personal life or in a relationship can create many problems. 

It’s important to recognize the traits of jealousy and find effective ways of managing them.

It’s ok to feel jealous because it’s a human emotion.  However, how you react to the feelings of jealousy is something that can change and should be addressed.

If you need some help overcoming jealousy you can book an appointment online here.

If you’re looking for something to help give your relationship a boost take a look below at the Building A Better Relationship Workbook

It’s packed with tips and strategies to turn your relationship into something special.

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Mirella DeBoni

I’m Mirella DeBoni! Living in the Whitsundays, with my husband and 3 children you'll find me with a cappuccino in hand, surrounded by cats & armed with cute stationery (too good to write on!) I'm here to help you on your personal and professional journey to greatness. Qualified in Counselling, Clinical Hypnotherapy, NLP Training, Business Coaching and Best Selling Author.

Mirella DeBoni
Hi there,
I'm Mirella

Look, you’re on this page for a reason and I’m here to help.

The thing is, creating change in your life, relationship or business can be by choice or by consequence…

Regardless, I have only 1 goal in mind – to help you through it as easily as possible and give you the tools and strategies so you can live your best life!


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