Are You A People Pleaser?
Do You Have The Disease To Please?
- Do you find yourself offering your time to friends to do things without getting paid or getting anything in return?
- Are you the first one to pay for lunch or dinner when you’re out with friends even if you can’t afford it?
- Do you attract people who always need your help?
If you answered yes to the above, then you my friend are a people pleaser.
A people pleaser needs to say yes to everyone for everything asked of them. They will even volunteer to do things before being asked. They will give away their last dollar for someone in need.
People pleasers will put everyone else before themselves, because they care about others unfortunately to their own detriment. They are nurturers and they love to take care of people. This is what gets them in trouble.
People Pleasers are GIVERS and a Giver always attracts a TAKER.
People pleasers will put up with a lot. Even when they are getting used and being taken from it can take them some time to realize it.However, once they realize it they change. They change in a way that you wouldn’t expect. You might think they change by not giving anymore or holding back.
But that’s not what happens. A people pleaser will keep giving but they give to the point of resentment. They hold in all the hurt and the disappointment and shut down on the inside. On the outside they will smile politely and if you take the time to notice, they lose their sparkle.
5 Things You Need To Know About Yourself If You’re A People Pleaser:
- You give to others because you want to belong. You want to feel that you have a purpose and giving to others makes you feel important.
- You say yes to everyone and everything because you feel too guilty to say “No”. Just know this, if you always say yes to people then they will come to expect you to always say yes. If you say no, they will simply ask someone else. It means a lot more to you to say “No” than it does for others to hear you say “No”.
- When you’re constantly giving your time to others you’re disempowering yourself. Try helping others by pointing out resources or other avenues that could help them rather than you doing it for them. Empower others with resources instead of handing over your power, time and energy.
- Ask yourself “What’s in it for me?”. When you are saying yes to others what are you getting back? It’s not about giving to get back, however, when you’re always being taken from you will run on empty. When you run on empty it causes feelings of depression.
- People pleasers are overly sensitive. It feels like everything is personal. You don’t want to disappoint people or let them down. You put yourself last because you are more concerned for others than you are about yourself.
Giving to others is a beautiful thing. It’s not so beautiful to be taken from.
You can judge a good relationship or friendship by how you feel about yourself when you are with a person.If you walk away feeling happy. Motivated or inspired, loved then you will feel recharged. If you walk away feeling tired, weighed down, empty or exhausted then you have been taken from. It means you are giving more than you are getting back.
You want to cut down the time you spend with people who make you feel this way. You need to develop the relationship you have with yourself and start nurturing and giving to yourself. When your confidence and self esteem increase you will no longer feel the need to belong by giving away your time, money or anything else that has been asked of you. You’ll know the difference between friendships and relationships that are good for you and those that are just using you.
Be confident enough to acknowledge who the people are in your life who care for you and are not asking something of you all the time. Let go of the people who are not good for you and spend more time with those who respect and appreciate you for just being you and not for what you can give or do for them.