One last chance in a relationship

One Last Chance

The BS Of The One Last Chance in a Relationship

Relationships can be amazing.  They can make you feel loved, safe and secure. 

But that’s not always the case. Relationships can also be full of conflict, emotional turmoil and stress.

The golden rule of thumb in a relationship is the good times need to outweigh the bad times. Relationships are based on commitment not on chances. 

In other words:

There’s no such thing as
“One Last Chance”
in a Relationship.

When a relationship is out of balance you’ll know because it feels like:

If a relationship is out of balance, then a decision needs to be made of what to do next. 

Instead of getting help or learning and understanding where you are both coming from, most people will give up or give in.  People believe that giving the relationship one last chance might be the answer.

One last chance is not going to help you grow your relationship into something special because it means there is a time limit on the improvement of your relationship.  

A time limit equals pressure and remember “one last chance” means only ONE chance.

 

 

In my book The Secret Sauce of Loving Relationships, I talk about the 4 stages of a relationship and what happens in each stage.

Stage 3 is the conflict stage and if you can get through the conflict you will reach stage 4 which is the stage of resolution.  

Now that’s all well and good but somehow you need to be able to get through the conflict so that you can reach a resolution and continue on to happier days.

Secret Sauce of Loving Relationships written by Mirella DeBoni Whitsunday Professional Counselling Proserpine

When couples can’t do this between themselves they call me for an appointment and I help them work through their issues and give them the tools to be able to do this in the future when then they need it.

Communication is the glue that will keep you together through good times and bad times. Communication needs to happen every day and that’s why the “one last chance” won’t work.  

You can’t communicate once and think it’s going to solve everything.

 

The reasons why some couples can’t work it out themselves include:

Now when someone reaches breaking point they talk about wanting to leave – they feel they are done and they are over it.

With those statements comes a sense of power and a sense of control for a short time. It feels like a solution has presented itself. 

It doesn’t actually mean that they want to leave – they just desperately want the conflict to stop.

For the other person, they feel the effects of the other persons power and they start to panic. 

They don’t want it to be over and so they start the bargaining process where they will do anything to keep the relationship. 

It’s no longer about whose fault it is, it now becomes about saving the relationship because a real threat has presented itself.

Here’s some of the reasons people will use when they are trying to save the relationship when the other person wants to leave

One last chance to save a relationship

And then comes the biggest negotiation of all:

“Please, can we give it just One Last Chance? 

And then if it doesn’t work we will break up”

Now when someone asks for One Last Chance in a Relationship they are actually asking you “Can you just stay longer.”  One last chance doesn’t have any solutions attached to it.

So what actually happens is that both people will be on their best behavior for as long as they can, which is usually just a few days. 

Then, as soon as something happens to bring back the conflict, everyone loses their shit and they want to break up – for good this time. But they don’t actually break up then either.  

This process can go on and on for months and even years, depending on how long a couple has been together.

My point is that One Last Chance does not solve any issues, it’s just 2 people committing to perfection which is not realistic.

Conclusion

Instead of asking for One Last Chance, ask:

“What is it that you need from our relationship that you are not getting?”

“What am I doing right in this relationship?”

“What can I change that would make you feel good/loved/safe in this relationship?”

Start getting some real answers by asking the tough questions because that’s where your happily ever after will be.

If your relationship is at the ‘one last chance” stage and you need some help click here to book a relationship counselling appointment.

Let me help…

Looking for a Resource To Get The Connection Back in Your Relationship?

Building A Better Relationship Workbook is full of exercises, activities and tools to improve your connection, intimacy and communication in your relationship.

There are 90 pages designed to help you learn what is working and what needs to change in your relationship. If you apply all the lessons in this workbook your relationship is going to improve on a big scale. 

You deserve to have a loving, kind, respectful and intimate relationship. This workbook is a the first step on that journey.

You’ll find a surprise bonus inside valued at $50.00 too.

You May Be Interested in These Related Articles

Mirella DeBoni

Mirella DeBoni

I’m Mirella DeBoni! Living in the Whitsundays, with my husband and 3 children you'll find me with a cappuccino in hand, surrounded by cats & armed with cute stationery (too good to write on!) I'm here to help you on your personal and professional journey to greatness. Qualified in Counselling, Clinical Hypnotherapy, NLP Training, Business Coaching and Best Selling Author.

Mirella DeBoni
Hi there,
I'm Mirella

Look, you’re on this page for a reason and I’m here to help.

The thing is, creating change in your life, relationship or business can be by choice or by consequence…

Regardless, I have only 1 goal in mind – to help you through it as easily as possible and give you the tools and strategies so you can live your best life!

VISIT OUR STORE

Let's Connect!

SERVICES

FREE!
Instant Download

Free Guide Image Whitsunday Professional Counselling Proserpine
.