38 Ways To Improve Your Relationship
As a Marriage Counsellor, I’m often asked, “What can I do to improve my marriage?”
It takes two people who really want to have a happy marriage to give the time and attention it needs to grow year after year.
If you’re looking to improve your marriage, all you need to do is make the decision and start with small steps.Most people say it feels awkward maybe even fake. I agree.
If you haven’t been putting in any effort and all of a sudden you’re being affectionate, you’re wanting to hold hands, or you’re wanting to talk about your partners day when you didn’t want to before, it’s going to feel weird.
But that shouldn’t stop you. All change feels different to begin with but the more you did the more it becomes part of your “norm.”
My advice is to make sure you’ve had the conversation to start with. Talk about how you want to improve the relationship and make it better. Talk about the things you’re going to start doing so you have accountability and also so you don’t scare your partner off!
Just kidding. But in all seriousness, you want to give your partner a heads up that you’re turning things up a notch. Otherwise you may fall into the trap of “testing your partner.”
That means you will try out a few different things and then assess your partners reactions and their efforts. If they don’t know they are being tested then that’s unfair.
So to avoid all that just have a talk about what you want for the future and how you want the relationship to be so you’re on the same page.
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38 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Checklist
I thought I would make it simple by writing up a quick list of things you can do. So, here is a list of 38 ways you can improve your marriage or relationship.
Print it out and put it on the fridge to refresh your memory and keep your marriage as a priority. Use it as a checklist if you like.
- Choose your arguments
- Set boundaries and respect them
- Talk about your day
- Respect your partner’s needs and wants
- Respect each other’s family and friends
- Give each other space and independence
- Ask for what you want
- Be honest and open
- Compliment your partner
- Talk with loving names
- Resolve arguments and leave the past in the past
- Be affectionate to each other
- Share your dreams and support each others dreams
- Plan quality time away together - no distractions
- Show appreciation for your partner
- Eat meals together
- Be a fun person to be around
- Show empathy for what your partner is going through
- Be thoughtful and be kind
- Use sex and intimacy for connection and closeness - not punishment and reward
- Compromise and aim for win/win outcomes
- Decide on common goals
- Ask for help when you need it
- Apologize when needed
- Be available and reliable for each other
- Encourage and support your partner’s goals and dreams
- Accept your in-laws (they will be in the picture regardless)
- Be interested in your partner
- Make each other feel special
- Forgive each other
- Don’t over analyze and use their words against them
- Choose the right time to talk about issues
- Have conversations about bigger issues - don't talk about them over text
- Talk about your feelings with each other first - not others
- Listen to understand not to respond
- Ask questions to clarify you don't need to guess
- Recognize addictions and seek help and support
- Be spontaneous and surprise your partner
Conclusion
If you want to improve your relationship, it doesn’t take a lot of hard work.
It just takes the desire to want to do it. If you implement little things each day it will make a big difference.
If you need some help you can book an appointment online and take the first step to make positive changes in your relationship.
Or you can check out the Building a Better Relationship Workbook below. It’s filled with lots of tools to help you improve your relationship with ease.
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