Why You Need to Be More Romantic In Your Relationship
Being romantic is a fun and creative way to show your partner you love them. At the beginning of a relationship, most people are really good at being romantic. As time goes on, people slow down and get comfortable and then the romance can take a back seat.
It’s sad that people forget to show that they care. Being romantic is a chance to show your partner they’re special to you and that you’ve been thinking of them. If you’re not romantic or your partner isn’t romantic it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, they just show it in other ways.
Relationships turn ugly when people feel they are not loved and they’re no longer special. When a person feels unloved it triggers all sorts of negative emotions like jealousy, resentment, self-doubt, insecurities, anger, and sadness. All these built-up emotions need to come out at some point and when they do come out it’s usually in an uncontrolled way.
The problem is even when these emotions rear their ugly head they don’t address the problem. Most people feel too vulnerable to say, “I don’t feel loved.” Instead, they will pick little arguments until they become big arguments and no one really knows why all hell is breaking loose over the toilet roll not being replaced.
If you’re in a relationship then you want to make sure it’s as good as it can be and the only way you can make sure of that is by putting the time and effort into making it awesome. This is where being romantic makes it easy for you.
The truth is men and women want different things when it comes to being romantic. You need to know what your partner needs from you and what they consider is romantic.
What is Romance?
Romance is valuing the emotions and feelings of love for your partner over your libido. In other words, you need to be more interested in showing your partner love and care then expecting a payoff for your efforts.
Sorry guys, but this is where you usually mess it up. Romance is not sex and even if you’re being romantic it doesn’t mean you’re going to score for your efforts. Although, you probably have a better chance if you’re being romantic!
Here Are 6 Ways You Can Be More Romantic:
1. Romantic Vision: Create a Relationship Vision That Inspires You
- We all have an idea of what we expect our relationship to be like and when it falls short of that expectation it can crush us like a bug.
- Insecurities can fill our minds and hearts and conflict will surely occur. So what can we do about it?
- We can start by identifying what your ideal relationship is like, visualize it and verbalize it.
- The secret here is to write down your relationship vision and get it out of our mind and into the open where it actually has a chance of surviving.
- Then you need to talk about it with your partner and finally, you need to align your vision with your partner’s relationship vision.
- Now you will have a relationship vision blueprint to follow to create and experience the relationship you are both wanting.
2. Romantic Love: Find a reason to fall in love with your partner again
- Did you know sometimes we forget to love our partner?
- We get busy and we have so many things on our minds that we get distracted.
- We begin to look at all the things in our partner that are annoying, disappointing or frustrating.
- So what happens is, we focus on the negatives and it’s easy to keep finding more negativity.
- The secret here is to start looking for the reasons you fell in love with your partner in the first place.
- All those reasons are still there – you just need to look for them.
- The more you look for them the more you will find!
3. Romantic Dreams: Share your dreams and your goals
- When we focus on the negatives, we stop communicating.
- We start off by leaving out little things that happened in our day.
- It then extends into not sharing your intimate feelings and thoughts or dreams and desires.
- We start to look to our friends or family and confide in them instead of our partner.
- The more we turn to someone else for support either emotional, physical or financial, the less we turn to our partners.
- The secret here is open and honest communication.
- Talk to your partner about your day, your feelings, your thoughts, and your dreams so you are building a deeper connection with them.
4. Romantic Variety: Show your partner you love them in different ways
- We all have different needs when it comes to love.
- We do not all feel loved in the same way, we don’t show our love in the same way and we don’t all understand love in the same way.
- There are many different ways a person feels and recognizes love including, through gifts, through intimacy and affection, through spending quality time together, by being emotionally supportive or by doing specific acts like cleaning the house etc.
- The secret here is to find out what makes your partner feel love so that you can do more of that to meet their needs.
- You also need to recognize and share with your partner what makes you feel loved too.
- The great news is you don’t have to guess you can just ask your partner “How do I make you feel loved.”
- Your partner has all the answers.
5. Romantic Time: Spending quality time together
- Quality time is the glue that keeps the relationship together.
- The more time you spend together the better your chances are of creating intimacy, trust and a deeper connection.
- The secret to spending quality time is to talk to your partner and come up with a list of things that you would like to do together
- The list should include things that you both enjoy doing.
- You can write the list out and keep it on the fridge as a quick reference.
6. Romantic Connection: Listening To You Partner
- It’s not just about talking and having a good conversation. Creating a romantic connection is more about listening to your partner.
- You need to learn how to be in sync with your partner to really create a bond between you where you feel mutual trust, interest and intimacy.
- Show your partner you’re listening to them by giving them eye contact. Look deeply into their eyes so they know they have your attention.
- Ask them questions to keep them talking and allow them to go deeper into conversation with you.
- Ask open-ended questions to get them to dominate the conversation. (ask them questions that don’t allow for a yes or no answer).
Does your relationship need more romance? Click here for an appointment if you want some help with your relationship.