7 ways low self-esteem effects your relationships

7 Ways Low Self-Esteem Impacts Your Relationship

Low Self-Esteem

woman with low self-esteem

Low self-esteem can affect your life in so many ways. Not only can it severely undermine your quality of living, by determining what you think you can and can’t do but it also impacts your relationships too.

Low self-esteem has a ripple effect and spills into every part of your life. In this blog I will go through 8 ways low self-esteem effects your relationships.

1. Romantic Relationships

Your relationship can be severely affected by low self-esteem. Not only do you risk the strength of your relationship with all of the negativity you feel, but this outlook can affect so many facets of a relationship.

Low self-esteem effects a persons self-worth. They don’t believe they should be happy or deserve to be and therefore are willing to settle for much less than they deserve in life. 

People with low self-esteem are more likely to find themselves in relationships that are controlling, unhappy, and either physically or emotionally abusive. People with low self-esteem typically fall in love with a Narcissist.

Low self-esteem

2. Relationships with Friends

When your self-esteem is low, it can be hard to both make and keep friends. People with low self-esteem often have a hard time making quality friendships that bring out the good in them and boost their morale, which is what they need. 

Low self-esteem can also cause negative effects on existing relationships. The negativity and self-loathing can weigh on a friendship, and cause people to drift apart.

When friends feel they have to constantly lift you up, try and make you feel better, soothing your insecurities it can be exhausting. But at the same time difficult because real friends don’t like to see or hear people they care about hurting or feeling bad. 

This is one reason why friendships dissipate. They distance themselves so they don’t feel that you feel bad. Especially when their efforts to make you feel better don’t work.

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3. Family Relationships

Even the people that you have known your entire life can be affected by your low self-esteem. They might feel powerless to do or say anything that might help you, or they might find themselves in a situation where they can’t handle your emotions.

4. Your Relationship with Yourself

Most importantly, a low self-esteem can affect your relationship with the one person who will always be there for you no matter what – you. That little voice in your head telling you all those negative nasty things about you is constant.

It can feel like you don’t have the ability to turn it off even for a few minutes.  Your self-talk impacts the way you feel about yourself. The more negative things you tell yourself the more you are convinced it’s truth when in reality it isn’t.

When you consider the heaviness of the feelings those thoughts generate, and how difficult it is to shake those feelings off maybe you can understand how it feels for the people around you to see you this way.

5. Out in the Real World

There are many ways in which a low self-esteem can affect your relationships outside of the people close to you as well. The people that you work with or just meet in passing are all affected by your overall presence and personality. 

Energy is transferrable. States are contagious. That means whatever state you’re in happy, sad etc you can transfer to another person. Or they can transfer their state to you.  It’s like when someone walks by and smiles at you and says “hello.” Generally, you would smile back and say hello to them too. In that moment you caught their state.

It’s the same if you’re at work and you’re dealing with a pain in the arse customer who is in a bad mood. They come in and kick your arse over something even if it’s not your fault. They walk out feeling better and now you’ve got the shits.

If you feel sad or anxious when you’re around people and they learn this is your “norm” they may well end up avoiding you so they don’t feel the same way.

6. People Take Advantage Of Those With
Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem people are taken advantage of

Although it is hard to admit it, there are some people in the world that take advantage of people who don’t feel worthy or self-confident.

Unfortunately, people who have a low self-worth are the ones that most often find themselves victims of scams, bad relationships, and other such situations. You are a Narcissists dream.

If you have low self-esteem you will find yourself spending money on things that will improve your looks like botox, filler, boob jobs, nose jobs, a new wardrobe etc.

Even to the point of buying very expensive things like the latest car to make an impression or a boat to show your level of “success.”

All of these things are external. If you have low self-esteem you need to start working internally, get your mindset right and change your thought processes. 

Quick purchases will not make a difference to how you feel about yourself. It will just a leave a big dent in your bank account.

7. Bringing People Down

Whether you realize it or not, a negative sense of self-worth can reflect on your overall persona. No matter how hard you work to put on a strong and happy face, the pain and negativity you feel is often palpable to the people around you.

Whether they realize what is causing it or not, just your mood can pull a room of people down.

People are not as good at faking it as they think. You need to consider “how much fun are you to be around?” Owch. That always sounds like a slap in the face but it’s true. You don’t know what other people are going through in their life.

It’s ok to feel down but you need to consider the feelings of other people around you and make sure you’re not transferring your state on to them.

The best thing you can do is express how you feel, even if it’s really negative but then wrap it up with a positive.  Leave them on high note so when they think about you in the future they are not going to be thinking of the negative they will remember leaving on a good note.


The good news is that you can overcome your low self-esteem and learn to love yourself for the wonderful person that you are. There is a light at the tunnel. With a little introspection and some work, you can find the confidence, self-worth, and self-respect that you truly deserve.

A low self-esteem can truly affect your relationships. From your relationship with yourself, to every single person around you, from the way you carry yourself, to what you let people get away with. Your relationships and your quality of living can all be negatively affected by low self-esteem. 

You can overcome your low self-esteem and build lasting healthy relationships but it needs to start with you first.

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Mirella DeBoni

I’m Mirella DeBoni! Living in the Whitsundays, with my husband and 3 children you'll find me with a cappuccino in hand, surrounded by cats & armed with cute stationery (too good to write on!) I'm here to help you on your personal and professional journey to greatness. Qualified in Counselling, Clinical Hypnotherapy, NLP Training, Business Coaching and Best Selling Author.

Mirella DeBoni
Hi there,
I'm Mirella

Look, you’re on this page for a reason and I’m here to help.

The thing is, creating change in your life, relationship or business can be by choice or by consequence…

Regardless, I have only 1 goal in mind – to help you through it as easily as possible and give you the tools and strategies so you can live your best life!


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