Marriage Counselling Bowen – Whitsunday Professional Counselling
Relationships take consistent effort, time and commitment. Over time a relationship can deteriorate and leave you feeling disappointed, lonely and empty. Marriage counselling can help when you’re sitting on the fence wondering if you should give your marriage another chance or if it’s time to leave.
It’s a big decision to make and you don’t want to make it lightly. I believe you need to know that you’ve tried everything in your power to make it work before throwing in the towel. The reason you want to know you’ve tried everything is if you leave your marriage you don’t want to have any regrets. You know what’s worst than leaving your marriage? Going back and forwards from your marriage to breaking up to marriage to breaking up again. It’s the worst destructive cycle to be in for yourself, your partner and for your family.
When you go on this cycle, it means no one can grieve and move forward. It also means that the efforts made to get back together are short lived because you’ve already had the guts to leave once so it’s an easy way out when it’s not going your way.
Maybe you’ve thought about going to marriage counselling but you’re not quite sure what’s involved. Learn more about marriage counselling on the Marriage Counselling FAQ page.
7 Things You Need To Consider If You Decide To Work On Your Relationship:
1. How Long Has Your Marriage Been In Trouble?
If your marriage has been in trouble for some time, maybe even years, you need to know marriage counselling is going to bring up a lot of issues that you’ve been trying to avoid or resolve with no luck. In other words, it might feel a bit worse before it gets better because the issues you haven’t been able to resolve are emotionally charged. I know that doesn’t sound good, but with marriage counselling, you will resolve issues, learn more about each other and learn how to resolve issues in the future too.
2. What Needs To Change For You To Be Happy In Your Marriage?
If you already know your marriage isn’t making you happy, have you considered what needs to happen to make you happy? It’s easy to know what isn’t working or what doesn’t make you happy but do you know what it would take to get the result that you’re looking for? What exactly are you looking for in your marriage? What’s missing for you right now? Was it ever there before? What ideas and solutions do you have?
3. What Are You Responsible For And What Do You Need To Change For The Good Of The Marriage?
It’s really easy to point the finger and have a list of things your partner has done wrong, or needs to change. The problem is you can’t hold your happiness on the hopes that someone else will change, unless you’re prepared to do a little changing too. No one is perfect and as much as you can blame your partner for things that have gone wrong in the past, you need to be able to look at your own behaviour, attitude and actions for accountability. Change needs to start with you. It takes two to make it work and it takes two to make a relationship unpleasant.
When you’ve been stuck in a marriage that hasn’t been working it’s easy to fantasise about the way you want your marriage to look. Maybe you’ve seen other relationships and wish yours could be more like that one.
Most people want good communication, fun, company, support, intimacy and affection and someone to grow old with. Is what you want for a relationship worth wanting? How much do you really want it and how willing are you to do your best to make it happen? How will your life be different if you get what you want?
5. What’s It Going To Cost You To Stay In The Marriage?
Everything comes with a price right? If you want better communication it’s going to cost you something to get it. If you want more affection and intimacy it’s going to cost you something too. When you want something in life, rarely does it come for free. Having a better marriage is going to cost you something more than what it’s costing you right now. It might cost you time, energy, patience.
If you want to spend quality time with your partner, you need to find that extra time on top of everything you already do right now. If you want to have better communication it’s going to cost you your vulnerability and trust so you can open up and share intimate and important details with your partner. You need to look at the realistic costs and benefits of staying in the marriage which will help you work out if what you want is really worth wanting too.
6. What’s It Going To Cost You To Leave Your Marriage?
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side – it’s just different. Sometimes when someone says they want to leave their marriage it’s not really because they want to leave. What they really want is instant change. Leaving the relationship will give the person instant change but it doesn’t mean it’s a good change. Leaving your relationship is going to cost you. It’s definitely going to cost you financially to physically move your things and find somewhere to live but finances are minimal when it comes to the real costs of leaving your marriage.
If you have children it’s going to cost you even more. It will cost you the families foundation, insecurity in knowing if you did the right thing by leaving, your initial dream of marriage and the future you were carving out for yourself and your family. It can also cost future family events if your relationship doesn’t end nicely. In the future when your child is graduating or it’s their birthday they might not be able to have their whole family there because of the separation or divorce. The fact is, leaving your marriage will cost you in many ways. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t leave, it means you need to be aware that it’s not all sunshine and lollypops when you leave a marriage.
7. Do You Still Love Your Partner?
If you answer yes to this question then just book an appointment for marriage counselling now and get your relationship back on track. There are only 2 things you need to get your marriage on track:
1. You need to have feelings for your partner regardless of any past situations or event
2. You need to want to make it work
That’s all you need to make your marriage awesome. If you have those two things your marriage can get back on track no matter what. It’s only when the love is gone and one person doesn’t want to make it work anymore. You don’t need to know how to make it work. That’s what marriage counselling is for. Marriage counselling will help you get past the emotions, past the hurt and working towards solutions and strategies you need to know to make your marriage work.
Whitsunday Professional Counselling is available for appointments 7 days to make it easier for people who are working and for those who are travelling from out of town. We are located in Proserpine, 15 minutes from Airlie Beach and 45 minutes from Bowen.
Marriage Counselling Bowen – Airlie Beach – Proserpine