Relationship love chords

Relationship Love Chords

Listening to couples relationship issues, there seems to be consistencies with the breakdown of a marriage or relationship. The consistencies are the things that create a blockage in our communication and feelings.

I believe we are allocated a certain amount of “love chords”. These love chords develop in the beginning of the relationship. They are built from love, trust, respect and admiration. The love chords are attached from your heart to your partner’s heart.

They are invisible but you can feel them when they are strong when they are weak.

These chords can withhold a massive amount of pressure but can be severed easily when a specific situation tests the durability of the love chord.

Each person in the relationship has their own agenda of needs and wants from their partner and from the relationship. You will stay or leave the relationship for your own reasons. You will also have a different internal, emotional, pain threshold. When you have reached your emotional threshold one of the love chords will snap. Now there is one less love chord to filter the love back and forth between you and your partner.

Now, sometimes the threshold has reached its limit but rather than snap the chord, it’s cut and starts to fray. This particular chord is still intact from one heart to the other but has weakened. At some point it will break. The love flowing back and forth now has a leak and both hearts are not receiving the intensity of love as before.

So what snaps or cuts love chords?

Situations that can snap or cut the chord can include:

• An affair – straying sexually or emotionally with someone outside of the relationship
• Addictions – a person becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol
• Anger and aggression – creating fear within the family
• Verbal and emotional abuse
• Jealousy – when a partner has jealousy issues and is suspicious
• Controlling behavior – when a partner becomes dominating
• Humiliating situations – when a partner embarrasses you at work or in front of family or friends
• When a partner uses personal information against you – when you open up and tell your partner things from you past and they use it against you or tell other people
• Lack of trust – when you feel you need to look for clues that something isn’t right
• Being let down and disappointed – promises being broken
• Lack of sex and intimacy – not enough or not satisfying
• Friends – when your partner makes new friends and they are a negative influence or undesirable
• Neglect – when your partner goes out and doesn’t let you know when they are coming back, where they are or who they are with
• Social Media Flings – when you find out your partner is having online “friendships with their past partners” or someone else
• Lying – when you find out your partner has lied either in the past in the present
• The list can go on……

As human beings we are resilient to many things, however with love, we are quite fragile. When it comes to relationships, we measure love and we measure pain in our own way.

We can look at someone else’s relationship and wonder why they stay or what they see in that person, because we wouldn’t put up with them ourselves. Others may look at your relationship and think the same.

From the list above you may add or subtract issues, which situations could snap or cut the love chords for you.

The problem here is, when the allocated number of love chords are severed (snapped off completely) they can’t be glued back on. Those chords are like the lungs breathing oxygen into the relationship and once they are gone so is the relationship. No questions about it. The relationship will not be repaired or brought back to life.

And Saying:

• “Sorry”
• “I will change”
• “Give me another chance”
• “Let me show you that I can be different”

will not repair the love chords. Love chords are irreparable.

It’s just like jumping off a cliff. Once you have jumped you can’t change your mind half way down and say “sorry” and expect to be back at the top of the cliff.

• Sorry is not a magic word.
• Sorry does not heal wounds.
• Sorry does not mean love.
• Sorry does not give you another chance.

A second, third or fourth chance is not going to repair those chords.

Love chords need to be looked after and they will last a lifetime. I believe you have between 3 – 7 chords. Each issue on the list mentioned has the power to cut or snap one. It will not grow back.

You can look it as if each love chord is a wish and your wish it to keep your relationship together. Once you run out of those wishes (the chords are all severed) there are no wishes left.

This when you or your partner has reached the decision that it’s over. There is nothing left. There are no more chances. There is nothing to repair. It’s final. It doesn’t hurt any less when the relationship ends. The difference is you both know with 100% certainty the relationship has died. It will not be revived.

I know it sounds pretty morbid. I really hope it does so that you can think about your relationship and ask yourself, what state are your love chords in?

I would also ask to you think about your partners love chords. Are they in good condition? If you love your partner, then look after them, care for them and love them. Nurture the love chords between you so the love can filter through, while you still have an opportunity. Once they are gone – they are gone forever.

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Mirella DeBoni

Relationship Counselling Specialist, Clinical Hypnotherapist,
#1 International Best Selling Author

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