How To Create A Deeper Connection With Your Partner

 

Couple connecting in love

 

Creating A Connection With Your Partner

 

When your relationship or marriage is going well it means you have a good connection with your partner. Most conflict and arguments happen when couples stop communicating and they lose the closeness they originally had. It’s amazing how quickly a couple in love can feel like strangers living in the same house.

 

Love is a connection that you can’t have with just anyone. You can’t choose who you fall in love with or you would pick the one that’s easy to deal with! When you’re in love you have good rapport and you are in sync with your partner. When you’re in sync with your partner you will feel a closeness and connection between you.  You don’t have to work on being in sync to have a connection because it comes naturally.

 

If your relationship needs some help to improve the connection, communication, romance, love and affection, then you’re in the right place.  This post will teach you what you need to do to build the connection back quickly and easily.

 

The Best Way To Create Connection

 

The best skill to use to develop trust at a deeper, unconscious level with your partner is called Matching and Mirroring. This technique helps people connect you without knowing at an unconscious level. They form a bond with you and really like spending time with you because they are seeing a reflection of themselves, without realizing it.

 

When we make friends or start relationships we naturally look for things in common. If there are enough commonalities then a friendship or relationship has a good foundation to build on. If there aren’t enough similarities or things in common, there’s nothing to draw people together and therefore a relationship or friendship won’t grow or develop.

 

The success of a relationship heavily relies upon the connection you have with your Partner. Couples complain that they don’t get along, they don’t have things in common, they feel like brother and sister or roommates and that’s what happens when you lose the connection with your Partner.

 

You need to keep working on sustaining your connection because people change with time. You are constantly “getting to know each other” so you need to be paying attention to all the little things so you don’t miss it and become strangers. This is where matching and mirroring come into play.

 

Matching and mirroring is a very powerful tool and can be used to increase levels of intimacy in a relationship because it’s a flow on effect from interacting positively throughout the day. Sex and intimacy really is an end result and not a stand alone area in your relationship. If you want to create more intimacy and affection in your relationship you need to work on building the connection, not researching new positions or buying weird toys!

 

The purpose of this information is to teach you how to create and develop a much deeper level of intimacy and closeness in your relationship by taking small steps that can create a big impact. Below are 6 areas you can start matching and mirroring with your partner:

 

1. Creating Connection Through Body Language

 

How Do You Match A Person’s Body Language? Quite simply matching a person’s body language is simply matching them doing the same thing. Standing feet apart, hands on hips, one hand in pocket, arms folded, legs crossed, head to the side to name a few examples.

 

Mirroring on the other hand is doing the same thing as the other person but in a mirror image reversed so if they are tapping their feet you can tap your fingers, they cross their arms, you cross your legs.

 

It’s important to not mimic your partner as this will cause conflict. What you will find is when you are close and loving with your partner you will naturally be in sync with each others body language as you match and mirror each other at an unconscious level. 

 

It’s very easy to break rapport by a sudden shift physically throwing each other off but can easily be put back on track by matching and mirroring again.

 

2. Creating A Deep Connection Without Words

 

Non Verbal Communication And Body Language Includes:

 

  • Eye contact
  • Facial expressions
  • Gestures
  • Posture
  • Breathing
  • Blinking
      

 

3. Creating Connection With Eye Contact:

 

Using eye contact shows a person that you are listening and that they have your full attention. It can be quite intense when someone looks directly into your eyes. It is a very personal experience. Eye contact helps regulate the flow of communication and creates a deep level of intimacy.

 

4. Creating Connection With Facial Expressions:

 

You can create a connection with your partner with a smile.  When you smile it makes your partner relax because it means your in a good mood and everything is ok. Smiling can life peoples spirit and brighten their day. When you smile it shows you’re being friendly and it makes you more pleasant to be around. You will also be perceived as approachable and easier to talk to.

 

5. Creating a Deep Connection With Gestures:

 

Lots of people talk and use their hands at the same time as they make gestures. This makes people seem more interesting to talk to as they are more animated and lively with their communication. When people don’t use gestures when speaking they can be perceived as boring and dull.

 

Gestures include hand movements, shrugging shoulders, nodding of the head, sign language symbols like OK, thumbs up and crossing legs or arms. It’s best to mirror these action rather than match it because matching is too obvious and mirroring is more subtle.

 

6. Connection through Posture 

 

couple with good connection and matching body languageYou communicate by the way you walk, talk, stand and sit. To build a deeper connection with your partner all you need to do is lean forward when they’re talking to you.

 

When you lean forward it shows you’re interested in what they’re saying and that they have your full attention.  It can feel very intimate.

 

When you’re walking with your partner walk at the same speed as they’re walking. Take steps roughly the same size and at the same time so you’re walking in sync.  

 

Watch their posture when they’re sitting on the lounge or on a chair. Notice which way their knees are pointing so you can sit the same way.

 

When your partner is standing up notice their stance and if they have their arms folded, their feet together or apart and match the way they’re standing.

 

7. Build Your Connection with Proximity:

 

Proximity is all about how far or close you should be when in your partner’s presence. Some people need some personal space and others prefer more closeness. The last thing you want to do is get up too close in your partners face when your talking it can be confronting or plain annoying.

 

Notice how much space they need when your sitting next to them, laying next to them in bed or talking with them in person.

 

You’ll notice the right proximity when they start to move away from you. As soon as they move away from notice how close you are and move back a bit so you can gauge the space that makes them feel comfortable.  

 

You will also notice when you are too far away because they will come towards you so that’s another way you can tell the distance and proximity that your partner needs to feel comfortable.

 

8. Matching Voices For Connection

 

You can match your partners tone of voice, how loud or soft they speak and how fast or slow they speak. When you match their voice you’re perceived as easy to talk to and you will hold their attention for longer too. They will like what they hear and will want to hear more.

 

When you see a couple with a strong bond and good relationship you will notice that they naturally tend to match and mirror each other. You may even hear them finish each other’s sentences because they have such a deep connection and they know the person so well that they are completely in sync.

 

16 Things you can match and mirror to create a deeper connection with your Partner

 

  • Use the same language
  • Use the same words, slang terms, nicknames etc
  • Talk at the same pace
  • Use the same volume and pitch
  • Body language – (do not copy directly it will be too obvious and no one likes someone mimicking them)
  • Use the same facial expressions
  • Breathe at the same rate and pace
  • Have the same posture
  • Blink at the same rate
  • Leg swinging
  • Tapping hands or fingers
  • Fidgetting with keys
  • Smiling
  • Arm positioning
  • Laughing
  • Flirting

 

You don’t have to do all of these things it will be exhausting! Just choose a couple of them and focus on those things for a few days and notice how your partner relates to you. Notice if your relationship feels like it’s more intimate and has a different kind of closeness and notice if conflict has reduced.

 

You see when you’re matching and mirroring your partner you’re building an unconscious connection. That means you’re working on subtle little things.

 

It’s always the little things that make a big difference.

 

You’ll know when things are starting to turn around in your relationship when your partner starts to follow what you’re doing instead of you following them. They’re not doing it intentionally. It’s happening automatically because they’re in rapport with you so you know it’s a genuine connection that you’ve created.

 

Matching and mirroring is a tool you can use to keep on track and stay in sync with your partner to strengthen your relationship. The more you can match and mirror your partner the more your partner will feel drawn to you because they’re seeing a reflection of themselves.

 

Matching and Mirroring reduces conflict by creating a deeper level of communication.  You will build a better connection and improve intimacy by using these techniques. 

 

If you need some help with your relationship connection, book an appointment online by clicking the button below:

 

Whitsunday Professional Counselling Book Appointment Marriage Counselling

 

 

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Mirella DeBoni

Relationship Counselling Specialist, Clinical Hypnotherapist, #1 International Best Selling Author

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